5 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Kids

It is important to be careful of the words we use with children. Recognize these 5 things you shouldn't say to kids and learn what to say (or do) instead. 5 Things You Shouldn't Say to Kids (And What to Do Instead) ~ Tipsaholic.com #parenting #kids

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An angry outburst directed at a child can be more damaging than you might think. Kids need positive encouragement and help in identifying and dealing with their emotions as they grow and develop. Take a closer look at what you say to the children in your life. If you find any of these five common phrases, consider working to change them and to use more positive ways to get the results you desire. The better we do as parents and caregivers, the greater these children’s futures will be as they learn to treat others with respect and kindness.

 

5 Things You Should Never Say to a Child

 

1. “If you eat this, you get dessert”

As parents struggle to teach children a healthy way of living, this is one of the phrases that can cause some setbacks. Making kids eat their vegetables before they get the sweet stuff makes vegetables seem like the “bad guy” in the equation, and that’s probably the opposite of what you want. Don’t use healthy foods as a bribe. Consider serving dessert with dinner. Doing so could take some of the emphasis off the dessert itself and put the focus back on the meal as a whole.

 

2. “Because I said so”

You may remember this one from your own parents’ repertoire, and maybe you also remember how frustrating it could be? Your kids are much more likely to drop an issue, or at least be more accepting, if you really do your best to give a real explanation. And making a commitment to do so may also make you more thoughtful when it comes to responding to your kids’ questions. If your son wants to know why he has to wear his seatbelt or your daughter asks why you want her to eat her green beans, think about it. Be honest. Do some research together if necessary. They may still have questions, but you’ve got science and the law on your side!

 

3. “Don’t cry” or “You’re okay”

Kids have emotions. They feel them and are honest about them, and it’s healthy for them to express those emotions in different ways as they go through different phases of development. When we say these things, it tends to be because we are uncomfortable with the way their emotions are displaying or because we don’t want others to be uncomfortable. But saying “You’re okay” does not make their hurt go away. Try to look at things from their perspective – if you fall and get hurt, do you want someone to tell you you’re okay, or do you want someone to help you up and talk through the pain with you? The healthy emotional development of our children is based on our reactions to these small situations.

 

4. “We don’t talk about ____ in this house”

This phrase can turn the most normal of things (like bodily functions, race, or sex) into taboo subjects. If you want your kids to come to you when they have problems in these areas, you’re going to have to answer their questions and address the issues without passing judgment or making them feel ashamed. Instead, you can just answer them by speaking on their level. You don’t have to go into great detail, but don’t tell stories, as you’ll likely wind up retracting them later in your child’s life. If it’s a matter of manners, simply teaching kids that it’s more polite to say “excuse me” or to keep bathroom matters private can be much more effective.

 

5. “What were you thinking?” or “Why did you do that?”

It can be easy to blurt out these questions when a child acts out or makes a mess. But the shame we place on them when they make an honest mistake can affect their willingness to approach us with greater concerns later on. Depending on the child’s age, the skills to deal with their emotions and mistakes may not be there. It is important in any situation to identify the feelings, the behaviors that occurred, and reinforce positive ideas. If an older sister hits a little brother, it may be appropriate to say, “I can see that you’re angry because your brother took your toy, but it’s not okay to hit. Hitting hurts.” Afterward, you can help sister ask brother to give the toy back and help him to do so. It may also be a good idea when an accident occurs to identify it as such – like when a child tips their cup over at dinner. “It’s okay, sometimes I spill too,” is a simple way to let your child know that these things happen and the best thing they can do is to help with the cleanup.

 

Remember that children are people too, and the things we say matter. We can be their greatest role models and guide them each day by learning what to say and what to do when it comes to emotions, mistakes, and daily choices.

 

 

Kayla Lilly is a photographer, writer, wife, and mama making a house a home in eastern Idaho. She met her mister while working at an amusement park and married him a year later after deciding there was no way to live without him. The amusement has continued as they’ve added three kids and a passel of pets to their lives while finishing college and starting a photography business. Drawing inspiration from the whirlwinds of marriage, parenthood, and the media, Kayla blogs at Utterly Inexperienced, and spends the rest of her time chasing chickens, organizing junk drawers, diapering toddlers, and photographing everyone willing to step in front of her lens.

 

More inspiration:

10 Smart Tips to Get Kids Ready Faster in the Morning via tipsaholic.com          Happy healthy kids exercising         4 Steps To A Great Kids Reading Nook via Tipsaholic.com

Getting Ready Tips                Exercising with Kids              Kids’ Reading Nook

Cheap or Free Toys for Gross Motor Development

 8 Cheap or Free Toys for Gross Motor Development | Tipsaholic.com #kids #toys #free #development #play

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Gross motor development is important for every child, and whether it’s running, jumping, climbing, or kicking, there’s a lot to learn! Help your kids explore and develop their physical skills by providing a few of these simple and inexpensive “toys” that can be found around the house or at your local dollar store.

 

1. 2×4 

A simple 2×4 board or other scrap wood makes developing balance a lot of fun! Be sure to remove splinters and sand the board to make it safe for children before use. Children can also hop, step, and climb over a board depending on how it is elevated. A fun way to use it: Walk the Plank at No Time for Flash Cards

 

2. Hula hoops

An easy find at most dollar stores, a trio of hoops can be used in a variety of games that encourage jumping, crawling, and throwing at a target. A fun way to use it: Hula Hoop Games at Learn~Play~Imagine

 

3. Masking tape

Masking tape can be used to mark shapes, numbers, letters, lines, and any kind of obstacle course inside your home with little mess. For outdoor fun, chalk can be used in the same way. A fun way to use it: Tape Jump at Hands On As We Grow

 

4. A ball

Balls are the perfect choice if your child needs variety in his/her gross motor activities. Balls can be thrown, caught, kicked, rolled on, sat upon, bounced, and more. A really large ball adds challenge and excitement. A fun way to use it: Milk Jug Catch at I Am Momma – Hear Me Roar

 

5. Balloons

Balloons have many of the same uses as a ball, but with the added fun of a slow “freefall” period after it has been kicked or punched into the air. Balloons can be great tools to encourage jumping and stretching. A fun way to use it: Balloon Hockey at Creative Connections for Kids

 

6. Bean bags

Bean bags are the ideal tool for a child practicing targeted throwing. Because they don’t roll, bean bags can also be used to promote balancing skills when placed on heads or open palms and carried across the room. A fun way to use it: Crazy Cans at Two Shades of Pink

 

7. Yarn

Yarn is another multi-purpose item. Create “laser beam” obstacle courses in hallways or among furniture or use long pieces to mark out shapes and lines on the ground for children to follow. A fun way to use it: Stringing at My Kids’ Adventures

 

8. A cardboard box

Kids crawling into and peeking out of a big box is downright adorable – not to mention a great gross-motor builder! Tumbling, crawling, rolling, and twisting are just a few of the skills a box can promote. Cut holes and windows in a box to add new elements of play. A fun way to use it: Make a Cave at Raising Cajuns

 

Kayla Lilly is a photographer, writer, wife, and mama making a house a home in eastern Idaho. She met her mister while working at an amusement park and married him a year later after deciding there was no way to live without him. The amusement has continued as they’ve added three kids and a passel of pets to their lives while finishing college and starting a photography business. Drawing inspiration from the whirlwinds of marriage, parenthood, and the media, Kayla blogs at www.utterlyinexperienced.blogspot.com, and spends the rest of her time chasing chickens, organizing junk drawers, diapering toddlers, and photographing everyone willing to step in front of her lens.

 

Featured image courtesy of No Time for Flash Cards.