5 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Kids

It is important to be careful of the words we use with children. Recognize these 5 things you shouldn't say to kids and learn what to say (or do) instead. 5 Things You Shouldn't Say to Kids (And What to Do Instead) ~ Tipsaholic.com #parenting #kids

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An angry outburst directed at a child can be more damaging than you might think. Kids need positive encouragement and help in identifying and dealing with their emotions as they grow and develop. Take a closer look at what you say to the children in your life. If you find any of these five common phrases, consider working to change them and to use more positive ways to get the results you desire. The better we do as parents and caregivers, the greater these children’s futures will be as they learn to treat others with respect and kindness.

 

5 Things You Should Never Say to a Child

 

1. “If you eat this, you get dessert”

As parents struggle to teach children a healthy way of living, this is one of the phrases that can cause some setbacks. Making kids eat their vegetables before they get the sweet stuff makes vegetables seem like the “bad guy” in the equation, and that’s probably the opposite of what you want. Don’t use healthy foods as a bribe. Consider serving dessert with dinner. Doing so could take some of the emphasis off the dessert itself and put the focus back on the meal as a whole.

 

2. “Because I said so”

You may remember this one from your own parents’ repertoire, and maybe you also remember how frustrating it could be? Your kids are much more likely to drop an issue, or at least be more accepting, if you really do your best to give a real explanation. And making a commitment to do so may also make you more thoughtful when it comes to responding to your kids’ questions. If your son wants to know why he has to wear his seatbelt or your daughter asks why you want her to eat her green beans, think about it. Be honest. Do some research together if necessary. They may still have questions, but you’ve got science and the law on your side!

 

3. “Don’t cry” or “You’re okay”

Kids have emotions. They feel them and are honest about them, and it’s healthy for them to express those emotions in different ways as they go through different phases of development. When we say these things, it tends to be because we are uncomfortable with the way their emotions are displaying or because we don’t want others to be uncomfortable. But saying “You’re okay” does not make their hurt go away. Try to look at things from their perspective – if you fall and get hurt, do you want someone to tell you you’re okay, or do you want someone to help you up and talk through the pain with you? The healthy emotional development of our children is based on our reactions to these small situations.

 

4. “We don’t talk about ____ in this house”

This phrase can turn the most normal of things (like bodily functions, race, or sex) into taboo subjects. If you want your kids to come to you when they have problems in these areas, you’re going to have to answer their questions and address the issues without passing judgment or making them feel ashamed. Instead, you can just answer them by speaking on their level. You don’t have to go into great detail, but don’t tell stories, as you’ll likely wind up retracting them later in your child’s life. If it’s a matter of manners, simply teaching kids that it’s more polite to say “excuse me” or to keep bathroom matters private can be much more effective.

 

5. “What were you thinking?” or “Why did you do that?”

It can be easy to blurt out these questions when a child acts out or makes a mess. But the shame we place on them when they make an honest mistake can affect their willingness to approach us with greater concerns later on. Depending on the child’s age, the skills to deal with their emotions and mistakes may not be there. It is important in any situation to identify the feelings, the behaviors that occurred, and reinforce positive ideas. If an older sister hits a little brother, it may be appropriate to say, “I can see that you’re angry because your brother took your toy, but it’s not okay to hit. Hitting hurts.” Afterward, you can help sister ask brother to give the toy back and help him to do so. It may also be a good idea when an accident occurs to identify it as such – like when a child tips their cup over at dinner. “It’s okay, sometimes I spill too,” is a simple way to let your child know that these things happen and the best thing they can do is to help with the cleanup.

 

Remember that children are people too, and the things we say matter. We can be their greatest role models and guide them each day by learning what to say and what to do when it comes to emotions, mistakes, and daily choices.

 

 

Kayla Lilly is a photographer, writer, wife, and mama making a house a home in eastern Idaho. She met her mister while working at an amusement park and married him a year later after deciding there was no way to live without him. The amusement has continued as they’ve added three kids and a passel of pets to their lives while finishing college and starting a photography business. Drawing inspiration from the whirlwinds of marriage, parenthood, and the media, Kayla blogs at Utterly Inexperienced, and spends the rest of her time chasing chickens, organizing junk drawers, diapering toddlers, and photographing everyone willing to step in front of her lens.

 

More inspiration:

10 Smart Tips to Get Kids Ready Faster in the Morning via tipsaholic.com          Happy healthy kids exercising         4 Steps To A Great Kids Reading Nook via Tipsaholic.com

Getting Ready Tips                Exercising with Kids              Kids’ Reading Nook

10 Practices to Boost Emotional Wellness

Life can really wear on your emotional health. Take up a few of these practices to boost your emotional wellness and start feeling great! 10 Practices to Boost Emotional Wellness ~ Tipsaholic.com #health #wellness #practices

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If you’ve been feeling down, stressed, and overwhelmed, it’s probably time to take some steps to reset your emotional health. These are ten practices we suggest to really boost your emotional wellness, and the key to it all is to start today, even with just one, to get yourself back on the track to feeling your best. Once you’ve gained some momentum, add a few more to your health arsenal and continue to make these practices a daily priority.

 

1. Meditate

We’re not talking about sitting and chanting ancient words of wisdom with your legs folded at odd angles (although you can do that if you like!). We’re talking about taking a few minutes each day to focus on one thing – your breathing. The practice of quieting your mind and giving yourself permission to stop multi-tasking for a moment has numerous benefits, least of which is an improved, more calm approach as you go about your day. If you’re not sure where to start or exactly how to focus your mind, try this simple guide.

 

2. Do something you love

Whether it’s a nature walk, tennis, crafting, or a wild night out with friends, say “Yes!” to taking time for the things you love to do. A few hours away from the monotony of daily living can do wonders for your mood and there’s no better way to spend that time than exploring your passions.

 

3. Talk to someone you trust

Your mom, a sister, or a best friend who’s willing to listen to your complaints, worries, and secrets can often be the remedy to a rotten day. Sometimes all you need is to let it all out in order to start feeling better. Bonus: sometimes your most trusted confidant can give you great advice.

 

4. Spend time improving you relationship with your SO

It’s easy to lost sight of what’s important and feel distant from our significant others when going through the motions of life. Stop passing like two ships in the night and make an effort to really be together. Get a sitter and have a date night with one of these ideas. Take a walk after dinner. Wake up early to talk and watch the sun rise over a cup of coffee. Do things you love to do and remember why you chose each other in the first place. There’s nothing quite so reassuring and healthy as a solid relationship.

 

5. Say “no”

You heard me. School bake sale? No. Take a difficult client at the office? No. Cook dinner tonight? No. However crazy it sounds, you will be happier and healthier if you can adopt this practice and make yourself more of a priority. You don’t have to say “no” all the time, but if you really don’t want to do something, don’t!

 

6. Learn something new

It’s been proven time and time again – those who continue to learn and develop their minds are less likely to become depressed and more likely to avoid health problems like Dementia later in life. Take classes for something that interests you. Watch videos online to learn a new technique or skill. Read “how to” books. Travel! There’s a whole world of knowledge out there and people are more willing than ever to share it.

 

7. Write down your feelings

Even if you’re not much of a journal person, a small notebook or file on your computer can be the perfect outlet for your frustrations, hopes, disappointments, and deepest sorrows. Writing things down is like decluttering the mind. You can hold on to and remember the good things and purge yourself of the bad.

 

8. Ask for help

Sometimes life just gets overwhelming. There are too many things to do. Too many responsibilities. Too many sleepless nights. Too many voices trying to tell you what will make you happy, wealthy, smarter, and more amazing in every way… but never enough time. When you feel you have reached your limit, reach for someone who can help you. Ask a friend to drive the kids to school, ask Mom to help you clean your bathrooms, or ask a coworker to take a little more of the workload for a few days. Swallow your pride, if that’s what it takes, and ask for help.

 

9. Get rid of clutter

Even science tells us that clutter can be our mind’s worst enemy. Depression and stress can be brought on or made worse if your car, home, or workspace fall victim to disorganization. Take some time to declutter. Get rid of things you don’t use, don’t wear, don’t love, or don’t want. Organize what’s left using a few tips like these and you’ll be on your way to total emotional wellness.

 

10. Take care of yourself

All the emotional wellness practices in the world won’t make a difference if you aren’t taking care of yourself physically. Simple daily exercise, smart eating, regular doctor visits, and getting yourself dressed and ready each day are great ways to boost your mood from the outside in.

 

Kayla Lilly is a photographer, writer, wife, and mama making a house a home in eastern Idaho. She met her mister while working at an amusement park and married him a year later after deciding there was no way to live without him. The amusement has continued as they’ve added three kids and a passel of pets to their lives while finishing college and starting a photography business. Drawing inspiration from the whirlwinds of marriage, parenthood, and the media, Kayla blogs at Utterly Inexperienced, and spends the rest of her time chasing chickens, organizing junk drawers, diapering toddlers, and photographing everyone willing to step in front of her lens.

More health and wellness ideas:

Young woman running           Woman practicing yoga on the beach          iStock_000014593304_Large

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