16 Absolute Lies You Had to Unlearn as an Adult
As adults, we spend a lot of time shedding the childhood misconceptions that once guided our lives. But sometimes, even well into adulthood, we cling to beliefs that simply aren’t true.
Here are 16 absolute lies you might have to unlearn as an adult, with a deeper dive into why they’re not quite right:
16. Eating animal fat is bad for you:
For decades, dietary fat was demonized as a leading cause of heart disease. But recent research paints a more nuanced picture. Not all fats are created equal. Saturated and trans fats, found in processed meats and fried foods, can indeed raise your LDL (“bad”) cholesterol and increase your risk of heart disease.
However, healthy fats from sources like avocados, nuts, olive oil, and fatty fish are packed with nutrients and can actually improve your heart health by boosting your HDL (“good”) cholesterol. So, ditch the deep-fried fries and embrace healthy fats as part of a balanced diet.
15. Cardio is superior to weight training:
When it comes to fitness, many people prioritize cardio exercises like running or swimming. While cardio is undeniably important for cardiovascular health, strength training shouldn’t be neglected. Building muscle mass through weight training offers a multitude of benefits. It increases your metabolism, which helps you burn more calories even at rest.
Stronger muscles also improve bone density, reduce your risk of injury, and can even help manage chronic conditions like diabetes. Think of cardio as keeping your engine running smoothly, and weight training as building a stronger, more efficient engine.
14. The more the merrier:
We’re often told that the bigger the social circle, the better. But in reality, quality over quantity is key when it comes to building strong relationships. Having a large group of acquaintances might make you feel popular, but it’s the deep, meaningful connections with a smaller group of close friends and loved ones that provide true social support and contribute to our overall well-being.
Having a large group of acquaintances might make you feel popular in high school, but it’s the deep, meaningful connections with a smaller group of close friends and loved ones that provide true social support and contribute to our overall well-being.
13. Do whatever makes you happy:
This might sound like a recipe for a fulfilling life, but true happiness is more complex than simply chasing fleeting moments of pleasure. Sure, indulging in a slice of cake or watching funny videos can bring a smile to your face. But lasting happiness comes from growth, purpose, and a sense of fulfillment.
It comes from challenging yourself, working towards goals, and contributing something meaningful to the world around you. So, while there’s nothing wrong with enjoying some pleasures in life, don’t mistake them for true happiness.
12. Being busy is good:
Our culture often glorifies the hustle. We wear our busyness as a badge of honor, feeling the need to constantly be on the go. But this constant busyness can lead to burnout and neglect important aspects of life. Chronic stress from being overscheduled can have negative consequences for our physical and mental health.
It’s important to find a healthy balance between work, rest, and leisure activities that allow you to recharge and be present in the moment.
11. You can be anything you want:
This is a well-meaning adage often told to children to encourage them to dream big. But as adults, we realize there are limitations. While it’s important to set ambitious goals and strive for achievement, it’s also important to be realistic about your talents and skills. Not everyone is cut out to be a professional athlete or a concert pianist.
The key is to find your strengths and passions, and then set goals that challenge you to grow within those areas. There’s no shame in acknowledging your limitations; it simply allows you to focus your energy on achieving what is truly possible.
10. Money can buy happiness:
It’s no secret that financial security is important. Having a steady income allows you to afford basic necessities, healthcare, and a comfortable standard of living. Financial stress can be a major source of anxiety and unhappiness. But numerous studies by psychologists have shown that beyond a certain point, more money doesn’t necessarily equal more happiness.
True happiness comes from experiences, relationships, and a sense of purpose in life, not just the accumulation of material possessions. So, while financial security is important for reducing stress and providing opportunities, focusing solely on making more money is unlikely to bring lasting happiness.
9. Multitasking is a superpower:
Our fast-paced world often glamorizes multitasking, with people juggling work emails, social media scrolling, and lunch breaks all at once. But research suggests that multitasking actually hinders our productivity and cognitive function. When we try to juggle too many tasks at once, our brains struggle to switch focus effectively. This divided attention leads to mistakes, decreased efficiency, and even higher stress levels.
Studies have shown that multitasking can lower your IQ by as much as 15 points and increase the likelihood of errors by up to 50%. It’s better to prioritize tasks and focus on one at a time for better results. Instead of trying to be a human supercomputer, try tackling tasks sequentially and giving each one your full attention.
8. College is the only path to success:
While a college degree can open doors to many high-paying careers and provide valuable knowledge and skills, it’s not the only path to a fulfilling career. There are many successful individuals who have found their dream jobs through trade schools, apprenticeships, or even self-taught skills. The key is to identify your strengths and interests, and then find an education or training path that aligns with your goals.
For example, someone who loves working with their hands and building things might find more success and satisfaction in a carpentry apprenticeship or a welding program than in a traditional four-year college. The important thing is to find a path that allows you to develop your skills and pursue your passions.
7. Comparison is the thief of joy:
Social media feeds curated with perfectly staged photos and highlight reels of other people’s lives can make it easy to fall into the trap of comparison. We see our friends traveling the world, getting promoted at work, or seemingly living picture-perfect lives, and it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction with our own lives. But constantly comparing yourself to others is a recipe for unhappiness. The truth is, everyone has their own struggles and challenges behind the scenes.
The person with the seemingly perfect life might be dealing with relationship problems, financial difficulties, or health issues you know nothing about. Focus on your own journey, celebrate your own wins, no matter how big or small, and remember that social media is just a carefully crafted presentation of reality. Don’t let it steal your joy.
6. You should always follow the rules:
While there are important rules to follow for safety and societal well-being, like traffic laws and criminal codes, there’s also space to break the mold sometimes. Innovation and progress often come from those who challenge the status quo and think outside the box. Consider the inventors and entrepreneurs who revolutionized their industries by questioning established norms.
Don’t be afraid to question the norm and forge your own path, as long as it doesn’t harm yourself or others. Think critically about the rules you’re expected to follow, and if you have a well-reasoned argument for an alternative approach, don’t be afraid to advocate for it.
5. Introverts are antisocial:
Introversion is not the same as social anxiety. Introverts simply gain energy from spending time alone and recharge in quieter settings. They may prefer smaller social gatherings or one-on-one interactions over large parties or crowded environments. However, introverts can still be perfectly happy and successful in social situations. They may just need some downtime to restore their energy after a stimulating social event.
The key difference between introverts and people with social anxiety is that introverts simply prefer solitude, while social anxiety is a clinical condition characterized by an extreme fear of social situations.
4. Speaking up is rude:
There’s a time to be polite and respectful, but there’s also a time to advocate for yourself and your beliefs. Don’t be afraid to speak up when something doesn’t seem right, even if it means going against the grain. Whether it’s witnessing unfair treatment, offering a different perspective in a meeting, or simply disagreeing with a friend’s opinion, having a voice and expressing your thoughts is an important part of being a well-rounded adult.
Of course, there’s always a way to be assertive while still being respectful. Frame your arguments with reason and evidence, and focus on finding common ground whenever possible. But don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, even if it means being uncomfortable.
3. Mistakes are failures:
We all make mistakes. It’s an inevitable part of the learning process. The important thing is to learn from them and move on. Dwelling on mistakes or beating yourself up over them only holds you back. Instead, try to analyze what went wrong, identify areas for improvement, and use that knowledge to do better next time. Some of the greatest breakthroughs and inventions have come from mistakes.
Penicillin, for example, was discovered by Alexander Fleming when he noticed mold growing on a forgotten petri dish. Mistakes can be valuable learning experiences that help us grow and develop. So, don’t be afraid to take risks, and embrace the inevitable mistakes as stepping stones on your path to success.
2. There’s only one right way:
Life is rarely black and white. There are often multiple approaches to any given situation. Being open to different perspectives and learning from others can help you find the best solution for you. This applies to everything from problem-solving at work to navigating personal relationships.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions, consider alternative viewpoints, and be willing to adapt your approach based on the situation. This willingness to learn and grow will serve you well in all aspects of life.
1. You need to have it all figured out:
The truth is, none of us ever has it all figured out. Life is a journey of constant learning and growth. There will always be new challenges, unexpected turns, and decisions to be made. The important thing is to embrace the unknown, be open to new experiences, and don’t be afraid to adjust your course as you go. Having a clear vision for your goals and dreams is important, but it’s also okay to be flexible and adaptable.
So, relax, enjoy the ride, and trust that you’ll figure things out along the way. Unlearning these ingrained beliefs can be a challenging but rewarding process. It allows us to shed limitations, embrace growth, and create a more fulfilling life for ourselves.
Unlearning these ingrained beliefs can be a challenging but rewarding process. It allows us to shed limitations, embrace growth, and create a more fulfilling life for ourselves.
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